The Hell-Bound Train
Adapted by Herbert Wagner
From an Old Ballad for his Novel
Herbst Jahn collapsed near the old church door,
He had toked so much he could toke no more;
Drifting off with a poisoned brain,
He dreamed he rode the hell-bound train!
The engine's pipe was smoking black,
And brightly lit with a brimstone lamp;
For fuel an Imp was shoveling bones,
While the furnace roared with a thousand groans!
The boiler hissed with Milwaukee beer,
While Satan himself was the engineer;
Around him was a faithful crew,
Charlie, Frank Cihler, and Nifty too!
The rest were outlaws, junkies in rags,
Dead young women and withered old hags;
Boozers, bikers, tough guys who'll fight,
All chained together in a hideous plight!
Faster and faster the wheels went round,
Wilder and wilder grew the fearsome sound;
Louder and louder the thunder crashed,
As the train roared on and the lightning flashed!
The passengers now were writhing in pain,
They begged the Devil to stop his train;
But he danced and pranced in unholy glee,
As he drank from the bung-hole of their agony!
Hotter and hotter the air became,
As it melted the flesh from each screaming frame;
While away in the distance they heard this yell,
"Ha! ha!" croaked the Demon, "You're arriving in Hell!"
"You blashemed and mocked," the Evil One cried,
"You whored, you raped, you murdered, you lied;
"You double-crossed friends, you cheated and stole.
"You belong to me now both body and soul!"
Then Jahn awoke with a horrible cry,
His face was stained and his hair stood high;
He opened his eyes and what did he see,
But a smiling blonde angel and a cruel Valkurie!